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I just wanted to lay on the couch for 5 minutes and stretch out my legs. This 100lb pup laid on top of me, the full length of my body and laid down. She sure loves to snuggle.

When I was very little my favorite aunt put a gun in her mouth and ended her life. I think they said it was a shotgun, but I don't remember the details very well. I don't remember her very well either, just the shadows of her image in my mind and the feeling of excitement when I would get to see her. I don't recall how old I was, I have memories going back to about 2 years old. She was my first experience with death, and I can't say at that age I really understood it. I'm sure as a small child I didn't get all of the graphic details. All I knew is that one day she wasn't there anymore, and she was never there again.

Very soon afterward I had a new 'aunt', and she has always been an overly sweet person. I think maybe her only fault was getting together with my uncle while he was still married. I was told that my deceased aunt did have a horrible life before she married my uncle. My gut tells me that he decided to leave her for the new woman and death was better than returning home to the hell she grew up with.

Don't worry. Karma came for him... and took it's time with him piece by piece.

I still think about her sometimes. I always thought she was a happy person. I guess you never really know what kind of hell people are actually living.

COMMENTS

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Vampirewitch39
15:18 Jan 30 2024

True. The demons hide well in us all.

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I'm hanging out at a kid's fun park while my spawn plays with a couple friends. I swear these places are the epitome of birth control. I can feel my reproductive system plotting suicide.

Unfortunately I sit here and have nothing to do but think. I actually feel bad for removing people from my life. Even when they disrespect me, even when they don't seem to care about the few things that are really important to me. I not only miss the person that they were, but I suppose I mourn the friendship too. I don't invite many people into my life, and I can count on one hand the number of people I'm willing to talk to. I don't really talk to anyone about the important things, or the things that really bother me anymore. Maybe that will change. I find it highly unlikely I would ever vent the details here. Maybe I'll find somewhere else to purge, but I doubt it. It's been my experience that no matter how much they ask no one really wants to know what's on your mind.

In general this species has turned into a horribly selfish disappointment.

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Vampirewitch39
16:42 Jan 28 2024

Very true. I'm here, reach out.

Loved my Christmas card. Horses. :);

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Things have been, shall we say 'off' lately. Because of this I decided to torture myself. It's a lot like dealing with a scratch by shoving a red hot poker into it. My ever processing mind just can't leave things alone. No stones left unturned, no details left unexamined.

I went from being morose and unsure of how I feel to wanting to kick down doors, scream, and breathe fire.

I wish I could purge more details because it might actually help to vent, but I'm not afforded the luxury of venting anywhere.